Cruz,
I'm an not sure how the kids would take a seperation or divorce. Both of them would be affected to some extent. I think my son would understand. His outlook on life is very defined and very little bothers him. Or maybe I should say nothing appears to affect him. He does not show much emotion. My daugher is more like her mother, religion is a major issue and so divorce is never a good thing. She would resent me for leaving. She might cut off contact, then again, she might cut off contact with us both. I worry about her carrying on the D. She is all too much like her mother in many ways. I did not leave when the kids were younger because I thought it was best for us to live together.

Now that the kids are grown, it is kind of like a habit. the ways we react to each other is pretty well set. I know how to avoid the problems as much as possible. I also have a mantra I repeat over and over in my head when D shows up: "Shut the F@#$ up, shut the F@#$ up" I address this to myself, not my W. If I dont say anything, life is easier. I don't disagree, I don't comment, I don't communicate. If I keep my thoughts to myself, she cannot get mad or madder over what ever minor issue has arose. I guess in some ways I have just shut down and avoid conflict. It make my life easier.