It looks like whatever you want it to be. When my DH decided that he loved being around me but could not be married to me because it was to much responsibility- I decided I was worth more than that. I don't deserve to be at the mercy of his whims. I am a fun person to be around and people are lucky that I am their friend. I don't deserve my DH's scraps of attention and affection. I am not his friend, I am his WIFE. And I will not have any less. Sadly that means he needs to be out of my life.

You are worth more too. Don't let him decide on how your life will be lived... waiting by the phone for those glimpses of attention. It has to hurt to hear him talk about other women. Why put yourself through that? And how SELFISH is he that he has you on the back burner "just in case" he feels like being on your doorstep "maybe". Screw him. He needs to grow up. Optimistic, stop chasing him. You are worth more than being treated like something he needs to be out-run.