Well we made it through the holidays.  New meds are helping a lot.  No major meltdowns despite several normal triggers.  She turned into Suzy Home Maker for the season.  Home made gifts for everyone.  Ran me ragged going to the store for supplies.  Of course my side of the family is still stupid, out of touch.  She managed to get onto several rants about them on the way home after our visit, but this has almost become another holiday tradition.  No change in "hands off" situation.  I was able to give her a brief hug on Christmas Morning when I wished her merry christmas.  Otherwise we stay across the room from each other. 

I guess its sad, but I am glad the D let up enough to allow us to get through the holidays with minimal fuss.  Of course, I spent the whole time on pins and needles waiting for the explosion and following meltdown.  I am worn out from just staying on point all this time.  It is hard to believe how much it takes out of you, just being ready to try and manage a D Episode.  Now she is very tired and sleeping a lot, normal after major event behavior. 

Thanks to all who have read my posts, and a special thanks to all who have responded.  Its nice to have someone to share with.