I know Ange. I know that at the root of all this when I think about it. But it's all too much for me to deal with. I just don't deserve to be treated this way, even if he doesn't have the ability to stop himself. I'm sure he'll hit rock bottom and then apologize. But I can't forgive him any longer. I'm so tired of the roller coaster. I'm just tired of being treated this way. I know he's in pain. But he chooses to get off the meds and not get help. That's his own doing. So if he's not interested in getting well, then I'm not interested in staying married.