I agree with everything that's been said so far. This is a nice change but in reading through your older posts I'd say she has a tendency to be manipulative when she thinks things are coming down to the wire. If she's really serious about getting better than she'll do what it takes whether you are there or not.

You said she thinks that reconciliation can take place in a few weeks and that you don't. I'd tend to agree with you on this one and if she thinks that you can just 'get over it' that quickly then I'd say she doesn't understand the amount of sheer b.s. that she's put you through. That she's also rejecting couples therapy right off the bat tells me that she may be scared of facing her own shortcomings in the relationship rather than really concerned about making things better between you two.

You also mention that she's starting long-term therapy "after a lot of argument" which is great but I'm not convinced that her "raging less" is real. I think she may be in a position where her back is up against a wall and she's trying to keep you from leaving which would be a major disruption in her life. As I said before, if she means it then she'll do it regardless of whether or not you're involved.

Honestly I think you shouldn't delay this. I don't think it'll help you, your kids or her. Maybe this will be the boot in the butt that she needs to get serious about therapy and helping herself. Also, as Roxy and other said above me, this doesn't mean that you can never ever get back together.

At any rate, you've certainly been through the ringer and deserve some calmness and consistency in your life and so do your kids.

I certainly don't mean to be Debby Downer here, I don't know your wife at all so I'm just giving my impressions from what you've written. I think it's time to let her go.