I definitely feel that I should give it a chance.


Sure. But really think long and had about what a difference there is between someone being declared clinically cured and how that lines up with day-to-day living. That could still include 4/9 of the diagnostic checklist.

Divorce doesn't preclude re-marriage in the future. It may even provide her with the resolve to stick with the regime. Don't forget that she will also have to learn how to quiet or perhaps silence the influence of her family to get healthier. They've provided her with a lot of reinforcement for doing it 'her/their' way.

Not to dash your hopes, but you may also want to look very closely at the long-term efficacy of various treatment therapies with those who have BPD. She should be treated and it should be long-term; I hope she improves markedly and doesn't backslide.

It's not my call to make, but are you comfortable with the amount of time needed between here and what you see as a reasonable endpoint? And with the effects upon your boys in the meantime?

As always--best wishes.