ok my wife texted me saying if i didn't sort her issue (see below) by tommorow night she will file for device - how do I play this

in very brief summary
- we live in a house in the country, all that is adjacent to us is a field used by a farmer (who bought the field this year from the developer who built our house)
- the farmer shares the same private road to access his field as we use to get to our house
- my wife hates the farmer (probably because he won't sell us the field - which in my view whilst dissapointing is sometimes how life goes & you can't make him sell)
- my wife has become increasingly obsessed by the farmers behaviour & in her view how he ruins our life
- fast forward to today & we come back from holiday my wife notices a couple of muddy tire marks on the grass at the edge of the private road where the farmer has driven partly off the road onto the grass whilst moving his sheep into his field
- my wife goes mental about the marks (which in anyone elses view would not be that noticeable & will fade away in a few days), see above post

i think my wife has this fantasy where I speak to the farmer tell him about how much he upsets my wife & then after a good telling off from me he never does anything to offend my wife again & we live happily after

the reality in my view is the farmer could behave a lot worse and 99%+ of people wouldn't have a problem with how he conducts himself.

so there we have it either

1) i try to have a conversation with the farmer about the behaviour my wife finds unreasonable and either (a) he probably thinks with some justification we are weird obssessive neighbours who moan about not a lot & need to get a life or (b) even worse i start some sort of rift with the farmer & get into a downward spiral/neighbour dispute (big concern for me)

2) i don't respond to my wifes demand (probably with some sort of explanation to her as to why) & see what my her next move is

I think option 2) is probably the way to go but I am so deep in this all it's hard to think straight or objectively. Plus I don't want to lose her - but is this a no win situation?

Advice appreciated guys - as this decision is one I want to do my best with.

One final point to add my wife has admitted to quote her, that her behaviour about the farmer is obsessive, but to quote again she is only like that because he is unreasonable & disrepects her/our property with his actions. So whilst she recognises she is obssessive she won't ackonlwedge that any part of the mix might be due to mental illness making her overreact massively & blow things out of all proportion.

pp