thanks phoenix - i don't mind fixing but the problem now is she has become obssessed on an issue i can't fix, because it relies on too many things i have no control over

i think for a long time i have been happy to hold things together because if we were still together (even with some fairly major faults) it still meant there was a chance we could get through it, now i am wondering if the chance is fading with her latest behaviour

i will be in & out of chat room for a bit if anyone wants to pop in

pp