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Posts: 3071
Sep 29 11 8:27 AM
"helping him, supporting him, mentally and financially, surprising him with little things, helping his mom, trying to make his life easier"He cannot detect you are doing things to reward him. He assumes you are doing things to remove his fears, so has to satisfy your anger in having to do them by not thanking you which leaves them in your capable hands.He assumes he has to do things to remove your fears, so he gets angry and expects you to sit and watch whilst they are left in his capable hands. Doesn't mean he has to do them. As long as he removes your fears he's happy.You might be lucky and unexpectedly get something from him, but you won't get something you are expecting. The birthday present, the anniversary card, the appointment which needs to be met on time. Along the same lines you will also get lots of broken promises. All suit the purpose of getting you angry to remove your fears, not necessarily on the surface, but good enough for him to detect. Doesn't sound sense does it. You watch him. He can't help it.A bit like the present he must have given you which you avoided thanking him for. You couldn't help it either. Another woman is another present you aren't going to thank him fr. You could give him your anger back by telling him your pleased for him and for her and see if he makes contact with his fears for the relationship. Risky, perhaps best avoided.
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