Hi profplum,

I hope things go ok for you today. I had a few comments:
1) What would you do if you had an overpowering feeling about something which you knew was irrational, but didn't go away? Being told you were mental wouldn't make the feeling go away. Having your wife act irrationally on your feeling probably wouldn't help. Have you worked on validating her feelings, that she can have these feelings and it's ok, but you aren't going to act on them?
2) I've had the same statement from my wife that a real man would sort out her issues. For me, projection was the most likely explanation, that she was frustrated she couldn't sort out her issues.
3) I got a lot of boundary testing, I did feel I was dealing with a teenager or younger child sometimes. It helped me to figure out my limits and articulate them. And when my wife determined she had hit a real boundary with me, one I was prepared to end the marriage over, she did back down. Although if she didn't back down, that would have been ok too, as I had figured out my limits.

Good luck,

BelsizeP