Thank you all who have provided feedback on this!

Profplum, Hang in there. Hopefull you can get to a point where you can find peace of mind sooner rather than later.

Wanted to give a quick update on my situation and hopefully it can help others.

I spent a week in deep reflection, constant anxiety, insomnia, trying to figure things out, confused on my next course of action. I saw my therapist on Sunday (3 days ago) and recounted my dilemma, that I didn't know if I should let go or continue on, that I was heart broken by the deception...

She advised me to do neither and to not force a decision that i wasn't ready to make, but did ask me to do the simple exercise of being "open", open to meeting  new people, open to possibilities, open to the world, even to walk on the street being more open and aware, to start talking to strangers again, to act like as if I was single. So I started smiling at everybody I saw, I chatted up cashiers at the grocery store, and calling up friends and doing things that I used to love to do. For so long, despite that I put serious effort in trying to take care of myself, I have been living closed off from everybody, in hiding from feeling inadequate, feeling too gloomy to be good company, being stuck in my head, not being fully conscious of my surroundings, and mostly, living for my DSO's sake.

This simple yet powerful switch in mindset, has so far changed my life. With this shift, I feel more in tune with myself. For the first time in many many months, I feel free of the imaginary chains that I subjected myself to. For the first time in many months, I am fully aware of my choices, I don't jump at his txt messages, I am not constantly wondering what he's doing, how he's feeling, I no longer look for and wait for his reactions and am not hurt by his lack of attention to me. All of a sudden, I kinda just don't give a #*$% anymore. I still love him to death and look at him as the love of my life, yes, at least I love the man underneath it all, and I will continue to support him in getting himself better, but I am not gonna stall my life and wait for something to happen anymore. I still hope for him to come back, but whilst moving on with my life, and hopefully our timing will coincide again. To summarize, I have decide to love without expecting anything in return, but to love myself more.
 
The twist is, in light of my new attitude, something seems to have changed within him as well. Little has changed in my behavior. But perhaps, he sees the old bubbly me again, the old twinkle in my eye, he can sense my indifference to his negative reactions. (Vin, I imagine this is what you were getting at, to not let his actions create anger in me). He is all of a sudden reaching out to me, constantly emailing, msging me again. Go figure. Gees.

Also, during my self reflection, I found a link that I thought powerful and helpful in my recent self discovery:
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html