Thank you all for your input...and thanks WW for answering my question. I just think I've had an "aha" moment yesterday in understanding a little bit what my DSO is trying to say. Yes, it is MUCH different than the direct words of love and devotion he tells me when his D doesn't have a hold on him. For the past week or so, I've had a few angry outbursts with him, and told him several times I thought its time to say good bye to each other. I realized the fact that he totally ignored these requests, and started contacting me more; the conversations were much nicer and much less impersonal; he is starting to open up a little and trying to explain (though his explanations make no real sense to me and really don't explain anything); and he appears to be fishing for hints on whether I will be there for him, especially when he comes out of this (his asking whether time will heal all wounds)...put all of this together, and I realized that he is really trying as best he can right now, to reassure me and trying to keep us from collapsing ltogether. He believes that what he is doing is giving me reassurance (though totally different from what he use to do)... I saw it for what it was...although it is not the reactions I wanted or expected, they still speak volumes, and I just thought he should know I see what he is trying to do, and just wanted to say thanks. He appeared greatful that he had been noticed, and started opening up more.



FLUFFY: loved your post. One part of it where you said something about the DSO finding the people they are closet to suddenly annoying; and that they are always angry fits mine perfectly. One of the times I told him we should say good bye was because everything I seem to say or do annoys him....that hurts....also when we were talking yesterday, he told me he felt like a bomb with no fuse left, and he has to make a real effort no to explode on the people at work, his kids, his mother, etc...one reason, he said, he did not want me near him right now (there are several) was he didn't want to explode on me and ruin us forever...



Think i am starting to see the world through his eye now, and it's very saddening and not a nice place to be. And if all it takes is an acknowledgement and a "thanks" from me for the effort he IS putting in to make his world a little bit more tolerable, that is what I'll do. He's given me a LOT of love and support over the years, even during some times where I was less than nice to him, without ever getting upset with me. I owe him the same...