Elatedonce wrote:



…..Where do I start? He suffered horrible abuse as a child and never told anyone about it, until he told me after we broke up. He drinks way too much. Hs coping mechanism for everything is to run away.

I think most depressed people will run away as a coping mechanism. 

……My real problem is that I am the only person he has told about his depression. …..But he makes it difficult. He's told me he can't handle a relationship and feels like he's just going to hurt me, and it's for my own good, etc. but knowing him, and knowing how terribly difficult for him it must have been to come clean in the first place (most of these things I've mentioned, and even more, I've only found out about within the last few months) I just feel like I would be the worst person on earth if I left him. I also feel like this could be fixed. I know it could. But he doesn't, not yet.  I think someone said “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

I guess what I'm really asking is, does he want my help, deep down? Does he want me to stay, even though he's tried to push me away as much as he has? Is there anyone who might be able to help me figure out what's going on inside his head?
Try these 2 links   1st topic   2nd topic.  I've tried leaving, but it never works. He always comes back and tells me exactly what's going on with him, and how bad it is, then I tell him everything is going to be ok. And he lets me comfort him. Then things are great for a month or so. Then we do it all over again. At this point I'm going to either drag him into a therapist's office myself, or just throw the bastard off a bridge. I can't decide. But it's pretty obvious that I'm not able to leave him at the moment.

ED,  I’m sorry you have to go through all of this. I am glad you found this place. I hope I can shed some light if you ever need to figure out why your DSO (Depressed Significant Other) is acting or saying certain things. I myself have been battling depression for over 15 years. I have been in therapy for 13 months ; on medication for 1 year ( and still doing minor adjustments); and have been 85-90% mentally clear since September.  If you have any questions, you can always message me.  I am on this forum as much as possible.

Wrong Way (don’t go the wrong way)