Hi proptart, I am soooo sorry to hear that, he sounds so like my xdbf and if you were not married Id be asking his name...!!
My thoughts for what they are worth, he blames you for his d, and is pushing you away as he thinks in his unclear fog that if he gets rid of you he gets rid of the d...
Thats what happened to me, by e mail no less! ... and I still ask myself what way is this to treat another human being, its so cold. I actually felt at times my x has some narcissistic traits but who knows...
All I can say is he is in his zone of denial, and is using all he knows to escape... from what I hear until he hits "bottom" and realises his d is still with him he will be like this to you... how long this could take and IF he ever gets to that place called reality, who knows. I know mine won't as he has a network of "good" friends who will cushion him from that reality, its easier to blame the wee scots lass who just loved him...
But the real question I am asking myself  is, is this what I want for the rest of my life? to be made to feel this way? I know I loved him enough to try but I don't know if he did me...
and I question my ability to "trust" him after what he/his d has put me through... I'm really unsure if I could actually give my heart and trust to him again...
I am trying, still trying to move on and hope you find the strength to find your path. Whatever way you choose please make it about YOU.
Hanik.