Proptart, I'm very sorry to hear this - I think for all DSOs, the easy solution is to blame their close relationships because that is where the fracture is so apparent, I think you are right and you have to accept this as evidence that it is time to start moving forward, if his head is so muddled and he sees nothing positive about contact with you, then for your own health and well being I dont think you have any choice. Please put in place a plan to be good to yourself, I cant remember if you said you were seeing a counsellor, if not, now might be a good time to find one. Otherwise, plan a nice weekend away with friends or on your own (whichever you prefer) go to see a movie, go for dinner with some people you love and trust, try some self nurturing for a change, rather than fretting about your husbands behaviours and actions over which you have no control. As part of my be good to myself regime, I have booked a weekend away at a spa/retreat with a good friend, I've been working out a few nights a week after work, meeting friends for a long walk in the park at weekends and taking time to cook and prepare nice meals for myself at the weekends. I am coming to the point where I am accepting that I wouldnt want a future tied to a man I couldnt rely on, who was emotionally volatile and in denial about his mood disorder - why would I want to commit myself to that? It does take a bit of time to get there, to distance yourself and see the damage you were doing to your own self esteem by being with someone who is so negative and emotionally distant, but you will get there - courage my fallout friend, anything is possible, even survival of this kind of trial,
hugs,
Erin