Proptart, we are always here, in the weeks and months ahead when you feel the need to vent you have us fellow fallouters, but please do start concentrating on yourself, its long overdue and necessary - his decision, warped and all as it is by his illness is his decision and you cant fight it - I have come to accept that and also ask myself why would I want to? I'm further down this road than you are, so there is hope for a fulfilling life ahead. I have often asked myself over the last few weeks, if he turned up on my doorstep begging forgiveness and asking for another chance would I give it to him? My short answer is no, I'm done with the uncertainty, with the rejection of basic human affection, never mind intimacy, the never knowing whether what you say is being misinterpreted or filed away for some future reference out of context, I'm 44 years old ffs, I cant commit to living a life like that - no one should, including you,
regards,
Erin