I don't know about the rest of the women on this site, but I'm not always strong. Trust me, I have my days,But what I'm starting to get smarter about it....I'm in love with a memory. I don't even recognize my husband any more. His attempt to be a stranger with me, for him to "be left alone" is starting to work. I'm doing the work of understanding his illness, reading books, giving him his space, .....but then there's the flip side of me no longer having a husband who is willing to even consider our marriage, who runs away, who's secretive and argumentative and treats like me i shot his grandmother or something.

And I'm falling on the cross trying to understand someone who treats me with complete and utter contempt?

Tough to do.