Hi NW, I think you need to start with the basics, but only when you feel ready to do so, small gestures of affection are like diamonds to us fallouters and it is an important part of rebuilding trust. Its not just about you wanting to feel sexual with your wife, its also about all the years of rejection she has endured because of your depression - just because you think you are good to go, doesnt mean she feels she can trust you in that way again. Give yourself a few months to start rebuilding that intimacy and do it in baby steps, every time you show some affection or a kind gesture, it will build - believe it or not, she wants to feel loved, its just not been part of her life for a while and that is going to take some understanding on your part, talk to your therapist about what is realistic at this point in your recovery,
good luck,
Erin