Mino, this is an important first step for you - therapy is important to steer us through the emotional wasteland that D brings - in the interim, do you have a close friend you can confide in who would be a sympathetic ear? I tried to do this on my own as well and it is really, really difficult, eventually, I went to a psychologist armed with all of my questions about his condition and the first thing he said to me was 'how are you doing?' and I just melted into a blubbering mess, but this was a good thing, it really helped. It took me 3 months to talk to a good friend about it, all of my friends knew, but also knew that if I wanted to talk I would tell them - I know you are hurting so much in your heart, but it is possible to get through this,
hugs,
Erin