alicea wrote:


WW, what did you mean by "the past will come to haunt him"? Could you elaborate based? Will he become aware of his patterns? If he does, will he try to change his pattern? Will he remember that I was everything he wanted and he failed to recognize it? I mean, I am hoping for the last statement, but I am just fantasizing.

I just hope that at some point he will remember the good as well as, instead of just the bad. I know right now he is thinking how much work it was for him to be in a relationship with me. I think he felt that way not because of what I did, but because of his D. But he doesn't see it that way, so I feel blamed for his unhappiness and the reason why he wanted to leave.

Alicea,

 

I am referring more to the fact that he may not realize that he is being an @ssh0le.  I remember being really rude to a previous girlfriend, and just left her without even a breakup.  (yes I was going the wrong way again.)  It was 4 years later that I realized how horrible I was.  This had nothing to do with my depression.  It had everything to do with the fact I was an @ssh0le. 

It is possible that his depression is making him unaware of his poor decision-making skills.  I just remember how horrible I felt once I realized my mistake.  I called the ex and apologized.  4 years too late.  The DSO will feel bad only if he/she has a conscience.