Noway, I dont know why you feel ashamed either - your mood is erratic and it dictates your behaviours - this is not your fault, its a symptom of your illness. Shame is an unproductive emotion, process it and let it go, dwelling on it does you no good. Try to start focusing on something positive, in the future and by that I mean something good you are going to do tomorrow (it can be as small a goal as you feel able for) by that I mean taking out the bins, fixing the broken light bulb, doing the shopping for dinner, something that you can do, that is a positive thing and has a positive impact on the people around you,
take care,
Erin