WW, a fundamental part of depression is that feelings are blunted/distorted/altered. They are not real, it is a manifestation of the illness, please dont fall into the trap of thinking that your distorted reality is a true reflection of your life and your feelings, it is not. Feelings and mood are very different, even for people who dont have depression mood varies alot over the course of a day, week or month, the difference is we can regulate it, you cannot. There is hope at the other side, you have to believe in that,
hugs,
Erin