WW- Can I ask you what you're looking for from your wife? Are you hoping you'll find her forgiveness? Understanding? Freedom?

I'm not being nasty....really. I'm just confused is all. You've been basting yourself in the guilt and shame you feel for sleeping with a stripper at the same time you say your overweight wife repulses you sexually.

Sounds like you know what you want, but are afraid to take the pain to get what you want.

Your wife will be upset if you tell her what you have done - at least any woman I know would. Maybe she's this magical person who will instantly forgive you and lose 100 pounds by wishing them away, but I think that's unlikely. Maybe she'll understand in a recent manic state you became a self- described horn dog who hadn't had sex for 7 years and finally decided to have sex with a stranger- but I think that's unlikely. Maybe she'll say "that's it cowboy! It's over!" and you'll have your freedom to do as you please.

I think you're therapist is on to something. I think if you analyze why you married your wife, you might see that you crave something more than a stripper or a skinny wife. I think being separated is something that would not be the panacea of freedom you think you might enjoy. I think you are still married to her because it's not only safe, but she has been loyal to you and you appreciate this. I think moving forward for you isn't exactly clear right now.

I can't speak for you....these are all just assumptions. Only you can answer these questions. But I don't get the impression you know what you truly want, and would not make any big decisions until you figure all this stuff out.