WW- As I can't communicate with me ex at the moment it's very helpful hearing from you! Also you understand the push pull situation I'm in. I know if I contact her she will push me away by taking days to get back to me so only choice is to leave contact to her. It's been a week since the soccer catch up (first fun time we have had in a while ) she seemed genuinely Happy after catch up. But I don't know I'll hear from her for a while. In a depressive time say you experience feeling joy would you chase that again? Or would it depend who it was with? I don't know if you answer that for me. The 4 feelings you mention are all the feelings I notice with her. At the end she hated when I asked her to make decisions. And even last weekend, for the first hour she was extremely defensive with me. Its almost like I feel like she thinks I'm to blame for her unhappiness and I'm to blame for her not feeling attracted to me. All the time saying to me she feels fine now we are broken-up. I can see beyond this all. Maybe she will try dating others I don't mind really if she feels she can get a better connection elsewhere. I know our connection was strong when she was well. Your analogy was spot on my ex probably needs to fall right down to get help So her trying to date others means she hasn't fallen down enough.