My gp referred me to a clinical psychologist a month or so ago but I haven't heard anything yet. I think the NHS waiting lists are quite long - I am in Scotland. I am looking into paying for CBT privately as I just can't continue like this. I am not functioning on any level. My previous partner had BPD and was very abusive. He died 3 years ago in a house fire - I still don't know if it was accidental or intentional on his part. I can't believe I have got myself into another destructive relationship. I am so ashamed.