Helpneeded, I'm sorry you are getting the push/pull treatment, it happens, it is not your fault, take a step back from it, they have a semi alright day and feel a bit better and then the darkside beckons again. Are you taking care of yourself? It really is a hiding to nothing trying to get any kind of emotional stability with a DSO who is in the throes of it, I know we seek assurance that there is still something there to keep us involved, sometimes there is and sometimes there isnt. I also know how frustrating it is when they assume they can make the decision for us, or at least use us as the excuse to walk. For example 'I'm not good enough' 'You deserve better than me' 'I'm no good, I will only drag you down' this is a way of using us to justify their actions and it is very cruel because it takes even that small bit of control we think we have (do I leave the relationship or stay, even though he is clearly sick and not in his right mind) and they will do it. Please concentrate on yourself, dont expect anything and by that I mean kindness, consideration or tolerance, they are all in short supply with D,
hugs to you,
regards,
Erin