Erin, after two long and hard years, it SHOULD be all about you!  You should be able to do anything you need or want to find peace.. I admire your strength and courage for holding on so long... 2 years... wow... the sad part of this is he really doesn't appreciate what you have sacrificed for him, he is so not worthy of your love.... I do hope you are able to wake up in the morning and have found peace. : )  ((hugs))