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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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I am considering one final communication - what do you think?
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Re: I am considering one final communication - what do you think?
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Ange1961
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Jun 8 13 4:05 AM
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Erin, I hope this doesnt come across as mean (not my intention at all.. so please know that )
When we Want/need closure (that is what we think its about ... ) I believe in situations such as ours.. (DSOs leaving etc etc ) what we say and believe to be 'closure' , deep down is really a way of making sure they HEAR how we FEEL, what they did to us, how it hurt us etc etc. ( I say this because I know that is how i felt deep down, but was too frightened I would be judged if i said that to anyone). I just wanted him to KNOW how much he hurt me. Even though we had, had conversations and I had made statements to that affect, I knew he never heard it. He was too far gone into his own pain etc.
I do believe that there are only a small percentage of us who can write these kind of letters, send them without having an expectation, deep down.
Even if that expectation is subconcious .. it is there.
Im not saying its an expectation of our DSOs returning, maybe more an expectation that they will HEAR us this time and feel guilt, hurt, or some other emotion. (its human nature for us to want to hurt those who have hurt us) .
For you now, you say 'thats the end of it' (because you have sent it ) I dont believe that will be so.
And I do think that you deep down you really do care. You may not care what he thinks about it when he reads it, but you care, or you would not have written.
Closure does not come from writing these kinds of letters...
Closure comes from turning your own life around.
Closure comes from focusing on yourself, finding your own happiness.
Closure comes from healing and TIME.
Sometimes there never is real closure.
Sometimes you just compartmentalise your heart... you put a lock on that compartment, you lock it up and put the key away or toss it... and open up another part that has room for new things.. new people.. new life.
Stay strong..
focus on you..
live your life..
huggs
Ange
Take what you need . . . leave the rest .
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