Thanks Vel, it was not my intention to upset anyone, least of all you who has been so good to me on the Board. I am what I can only describe as emotionally fragile, I have a man who tells me he loves me, but cant be with me because he has commitment issues because of previous failures, dont we all have previous relationship failures?? If that is his big impediment to having a future with someone, then why on earth did he pursue me in the first place? Do I assume that the hidden implication in his comments about stress and seeing doctors and psychologists (not that I knew about either I might add) and that there is more he is not telling me to spare me the hurt, is that I caused his psychological problems because I wanted a future with him? As has been said here before by other posters its a mindF%^k and I cant understand it. This is not love, not as I understand it, this is not what you do to someone you say you love, that is the long and the short of it