jessho, unfortunately I'm a logical person! It bothers me that he might think that a relationship with me contributed to his 'stress'. I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting a future with someone you've been with for 3 years when you are in your 40s, maybe I'm wrong. I didnt like the insinuation that there was more to the professional advice about us than he was letting on, particularly as I wasnt party to it, but there it is, his depression has been redefined as 'stress' and I remember the nights when he sat here with me with a look of absolute agony, despair and desolation on his face that was impossible to understand or explain, when any gesture of compassion or care was rejected, when even banal conversation was beyond his capability, never mind basic communication or affection, but hey, that was just stress, what do I know, I'm not a professional.