Love, when my xDSO had his first major meltdown (at least when he was with me) that is precisely what he did, he completely withdrew, locked himself in his house and saw no one, food? Not bothered, work? not bothered. I was beside myself with worry and it didnt make any difference, no amount of trying to take control of the situation, get him to a doctor, get him to eat, get him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong worked. Have you read Rodney Whyte's 'Is it weird in here or is it just me?' I think you will see that alot of his behaviour, told from the perspective of someone going through an MDE is familiar. There is little point in expecting much in the way of interaction or communication when they are like this - I know our instinct is to rush in there and help and 'fix' things, but we cant. Do the things you want to do, make plans, tell him what they are, tell him he's welcome to participate, if he doesnt want to thats fine and go ahead and do your own thing anyway, its all you can really do,
hugs,
Erin