Thanks JustJudy...  your so right,  this was actually my second time... He did go through depression before, it lasted a year... I was in the same position... was moving forward... and he kept showing up at my door in tears... pleading to give him one more chance... I did... a month later he started to slide... I watch this for 2 1/2 years, trying to get him to open up...it was as if he was building this huge wall around himself, everyday laying another stone down... until he finally had a wall ups so high, he couldn't see me anymore... add in meds at super high levels.... he was zombied out enough to leave me before Christmas...the weird thing is when I look into his eyes,  I see the real him, the man I fell in love with... so so hard to walk away... even though i have now feelings for someone else....