Im so sorry to read your story... such a hard place to be.

I dont anything you do or say right now will help her in any way.
That is one of the hardest parts of dealing with fallout.
We love and care so much we often sacrifice ourselves for their wellbeing, yet we cannot fix them.

We can show love and care, but that is about it.

I consider myself very lucky that when my exbph got really sick and cheated etc etc that our sons were in their late teens.

I think, for you, as hard as it might be, that you need to get a plan for yourself and your children. (Im not sure where you live and what the laws are , but perhaps make sure that she cannot take your children, while she is like this)

Your first priority has to be your kids. NO matter what your wife is doing or not doing.

You also need to take care of YOU (for the sake of your kids.. they need a stable parent right now!)
Its like putting the oxygen mask on yourself first so you can help them in the event of the plane crashing!

Also be sure to work on your own support system.. family/friends who you can trust with your kids and that you know will help you if needed.

See a counsellor for your own support.. this is really important.

Stay strong..

Ange

Take  what  you  need . . .  leave  the  rest .Blue_butterfly