Dazed, Hi and no I don't mind you asking atall.. I think you were the first person to respond when I first posted on here at the beginning of this year and I recall you mentioned then how similar our situations were - sorry to hear that is still the case. I suggested the separation and that we didn't talk about our relationship during that time - I did a little research on trial separations and took advice from a friend who has studied counselling but it was basically my choice and DH went along with it. I figured that, as the 'well' person in the relationship I was more rational than him and more capable of making a decision. Bearing in mind the fact that he had refused to talk about the major issue affecting our marriage (ie his emotional affair and refusal to acknowledge it as such) when we were living together, it seemed logical to make a decision to not talk about it for a while and allow us both time to reflect. As to whether it is helping me.. initially no as I was obsessing over how he might be feeling about us, what he was 'up to' and basically what the **** was going on?! Also I had the added misery of having to see him each time he sees our daughter and trying to act normally and not ask questions other than general chit-chat.. I think that is the hardest part. However, 5 weeks on and I feel a little less obsessed and a bit more in control. Friends and family (inc. my DH's) have been great, so much support and practical help too. I also feel a weight lifted from me in terms of every day living with DH, no more 'eggshells'! I had initially hoped for a reconcilliation but fear, as more time goes by, that is unlikely.. and maybe not what I want after all