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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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Depression versus Bipolar? So confused. Want to get off this carousel!
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Re: Depression versus Bipolar? So confused. Want to get off this carousel!
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Ange1961
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Oct 1 13 7:22 AM
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No .. depression does not just clear up because boundaries have been put in place (which is in essence what you have done).
Its possible that in this moment he has just had a slap in the face /or kick in the shins that has him going... oooh shite!
The shock of your boundaries might have him kind of shocked into taking some action about his behaviours. (just because hes got D or something going on with his mental health doesnt mean he cant have control.. so right now hes working hard on controlling his behaviours/thoughts) CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy is really great for D and BP people if they learn how to use it and work at it... a bit like Mind over mood ).
With regards to a diagnosis of Bipolar, that usually takes time and loads of collaboration with Psychiatrist/dr/family and the client.
With my exbph, he was first diagnosed with Major Depression .... 18 months later he had an episode that was very different to anything I had seen before.
He had this need to leave (once again .. he had left before but had come back) hated me, hated our home, needed to be gone.. he went and stayed with a friend about 15kms away from our town.
Once he was out there(small farm) he was very agitated and couldnt sit still, had to keep moving, so he set about helping with the weeding/gardening worked solidly for about two days and then turned up at our house.. he had walked from this friends farm to our home, it took him about 4 hours ... when he turned up I thought he had been in a car accident or something, he looked so bad.
I fed him some food (he had been living off coffee/ciggies) and he collapsed.. he told me he had not been able to sit still and I noticed his speech was different. Much faster than usual. He also jumped from topic to topic. (all in all he was just really different) He asked me to make a drs appt for him the next day(usually he would have done this himself but for some reason he couldnt). This was a Sunday night and he ended up collapsing into bed and slept. At 3am I heard him up making coffee and I got up to see if he was okay and he was telling me he was going to walk back the farm!
I told him there was no way on earth I was letting him do that. He ended up pacing around our backyard until early morning when I drove him back to the farm.
That morning I made him a drs appt and without him knowing I slipped a note via the receptionist at the drs office(small town, they knew us well and knew he wasnt doing so well ) to the dr.
Exbph went to the appointment and long story short he was set up with a video call to a psychiatrist the following day and rediagnosed with Bipolar II and put on Zyprexa.
That very first pill calmed him down and slowed him back down to his regular pace.
The things I learned over the next 18 months re his Bipolar was, that the way each person presents with something like Bipolar is individual.
My exbph does not scream/yell/ become abusive and loud etc when hes manic.
When my exbph is manic he is way more confident and sure of himself, he becomes the star of the party, he makes loads of plans of things hes 'gonna do' (and he usually doesnt do them.. well not the positive stuff lol) and he also becomes hypersexual... which sees him end up taking risks /or having sex with someone that is out of bounds.
My advice to you, if you think that your DSO might have more than 'just depression' is to take notes.
Observe and write down things that you believe are different.
If/when he might hit rock bottom you could then give that info to his psychiatrist.
Dont ever tell the drs that you think he has bipolar(drs hate that lol) just write it down as dot points and keep your emotions out of it.
My list looked something like this:
Changes I have noted in my husband that concern me:
smoking more marijuana
smoking more cigarettes
drinking more caffiene
not eating regularly
sleep disturbances
feels sick in the stomach'
skin/rash has flared up
talking faster/moving from topic to topic without finishing what he was talking about
can't sit still
walking faster than normal
road rage
showing more anger towards myself and our children
distancing himself from friends and family, but making lots of other new friends
Anyway Im sure you get the gist. Keep it simple.
Id also be talking to his psych about prozac. there are so many other newer drugs out there now days that might actually work much better with less side effects.
Good luck
Ange
ps.. good on you for setting those boundaries
Take what you need . . . leave the rest .
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