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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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not responding to texts - another form of asking
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Re: not responding to texts - another form of asking
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Ange1961
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Oct 1 13 6:55 PM
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Hes not ok.. regardless of what hes showing you.
My view is that you will be the last person he would show that to, when you set boundaries or dont respond to him.
The texting (on in my exbphs case, the showing up at the house, he didnt use a cell phone very often) is your ex's way of keeping you in the loop, its his way of keeping his safety net(you) near by.
He doesnt want you, but he still wants you to know what hes up to.
DSOs often like us to see that theyre coping, that their world is much better with out us in it. (Craziness)
When I look at what Ive just written it really looks bizarre. AND yes it is bizarre, but definitely very common amongst DSOs.
He wants you think hes ok.. even if hes not.
It is possible that right now he feels much better, because leaving etc will have lifted his mood(brain chemicals) to some extent.
He will most likely feel less pressure at the moment, but eventually Depression and all those old feelings will surface again.
I remember when my exbph had returned back home to live after the first time he had left and he told me that he always thought the way he felt (depressed, upset stomach etc etc ) was because of me, but once he had moved out and settled into that new life all those things and more (lots of guilt) soon reared their ugly head and that was when he realised it wasnt all my fault. That being said, once he was back in another episode it was once again my fault and it was like he had forgotten making this statement a few months before! Frustrating!
Take what you need . . . leave the rest .
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