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This message board is for the friends and families of people who suffer from a mood disorder.
It is associated with Anne Sheffield and her web site
www.depressionfallout.com
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Re: Really personal question
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Ange1961
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Oct 1 13 7:09 PM
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When i first found out my exbph was 'seeing' bimbo #1 I was every emotion you can imagine.
Devastated, hurt, sad, angry and then some.
I felt shock, I had never imagined that my husband would do that to me, we had been together for so many years and our marriage had always felt pretty solid.
My exbph ended up cheating with three bimbos, that I know of and I know that to this very day(now 10 yrs since the first bimbo and we have been divorced 6 years) I will never forget those feelings that i felt. I have had to forgive him to be able to move on with my life, but I wont ever forget how his actions made me feel and how those actions changed me and my world.
I believe dealing with a partner with mental health issues is one thing, but once cheating (even emotional affairs) are thrown into the mix it becomes much harder for the fallouter.
One thing that shocked me when he first cheated was that I had no issue about taking him back and working on the marriage. If anyone had ever asked me previously one of those hyperthetical questions... 'what would you do if you found out your h was cheating?' I would have been first to say ... that would be it, marriage over! But when it came to the crunch and I was actually IN that senario, playing it out, all I wanted was to fix things. In that moment it didnt matter what he had done, lets just fix it. The thigg is it takes two to fix it.
GG you say that your exdso wont even talk to you to help you move on... can I just say you don't need him to talk to you about it. If you are in counselling work through it with the counsellor.
Personally, I dont think we ever get over being cheated on, even when we are able to move forward and enter new relationships etc. Its still there way back in our subconcious, but that doesnt mean we cant have good relationships in the future, it just means we have this learning lesson to add to the way we are in our lives and usually we end up with stronger morals and ethics, re being cheated on. By that I mean, if the partner I have now were to cheat on me I would NOT be taking him back 8 times! Definetly not. My self esteem is in far better shape now.
Take what you need . . . leave the rest .
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