hate to say me but it took me at least 18 months after he left me the first time for bimbo #1 to feel 80% ok. (and at this time he was making moves to come back home).
I had worked really hard on ME to be okay and even though we went through the leaving and coming back another 7 times and two more bimbos, I was emotionally much stronger (it still hurt though) than the first time.

The most important thing to do( and its said over and over on this forum) is to learn how to look after yourself, take care of YOU and also learning not to take what he is doing personally. (I hear the screams at that last statement ) I mean how can you not take it personally when the person you love cheats on you?!! For me, to not take his shite so personally, i did have to blame it on the illness. The illness was to blame to some extent, so to be better able to cope emotionally, I blamed Bipolar and my ex's inability to cope/handle his illness.
I dont know if how I handled it was the right way, but it got me through and blaming Bipolar lessened my internal pain, somewhat.

If I didnt blame the illness, then I would have ended up making it about me! I mean he was telling me the reason he cheated was because he was unhappy... and yes he was unhappy, unhappy with everything in his life, not just me. He was unhappy because his chemicals were messing with his brain and he couldnt think straight. So in moments of desperation or mania he would cheat. It felt good.. it gave him a high.. made him FEEL something.. anything(he wasnt feeling much at all at home with us) and for him that is what he wanted. SO when I disected all of this, I realised him cheating, was not my fault, him feeling the way he was feeling, was not my fault. Once I was able to really believe it wasnt about ME, coping got much easier.

Focusing on new things help.. especially things like volunteering, caring for others etc..and caring for yourself, it gives all that love and care somewhere to go.

When I was first married, back in the 80s, I always believed love was just love... by the end of fallout I realised that LOVE IS A CHOICE!
Love is habit, Love is caring, Love is need.... but in the end its a choice.

Falling out of love is difficult, and takes time and loads of effort.


Nurturing yourself is really important.

Take  what  you  need . . .  leave  the  rest .Blue_butterfly