GGF, I also don't want to be out of love with him, and want him to choose me over the D. Everyday I loose hope, but find myself a little more. I cycle between anger and sadness and a bit of relief too. The anger doesn't last long, I am more sad. I am angry that he let the D win, and sad about that too. The relief I feel is also rather short lived, but its relief I can be me, I don't have to be careful of what I say or do, and relief that I am not being emotionally battered every minute of the day.

Hang in ther hun, we are all here for u
Hugs