So, what do you want? If it's a return to what was, you have unrealistic expectations. Whether it's depression, or not, there will always be the thoughts of betrayal, lack of trust and worry, until years have passed without any signs of a return to untreated depression. 

Take care of yourself first. It seems to be selfish, but it's how you survive. A good relationship means caring without an external commitment. Living with a relationship that doesn't have that support demands a strength that few have and can lead to a life of unhappiness.