my opinion is soul mates is a fantasy idea. I'm trying to understand how you say you love her but list all the ways you don't. I think you don't love your wife and thats the problem, i don't see you listing how you love her. "In-love" i like to think of as a honeymoon phase, easy but fades in all relationships. love is commitment and the awareness that it goes thru ups and downs, ebbs and flows and needs nourishment and fuel to survive thru ups and downs in life, it needs to be worked at , this is not a fault but a very natural part of living and loving.. love is relationship and ideas of soul mates is unrealistic.