Hi sully, sorry you have had to find your way back here. Firstly I am encouraged to think that after finding the right treatment program you were able to enjoy so many years of peace. Given that he seems to be experiencing the same feelings that he had before getting treatment in the earlier episode it seems safe to say that it is the depression that is speaking, right? So is there hope that you can eventually find some combination of treatments that will work or is he becoming treatment resistant? I would say the important thing for you now is to think about reading Anne's book again and about keeping yourself healthy. Take time to think before you respond to him on the issue of 'experimenting'. This board has been a lifeline for so many, as you yourself know, so keep coming back for support...