Losingsight, yeah I agree with Ange too. Might not be depression but something else less severe like grief. Don't blame yourself for being something or not being something k...*patpat* None of this was ever your fault. As for the meds, I would refrain from taking them first. It might be a snap judgement or a grossly inaccurate preliminary assessment. You might consider observing yourself for a couple of weeks first. Like maybe get family or friends to observe you or (I know this sounds crazy) install a video camera in your home to observe yourself...? Though the second idea sounds a bit too out there yeah sorry(why did I even suggest it). Maybe after a few weeks, the person you're living with can tell you what he/she has observed. I seriously doubt it's anything too. 

No no...many of us are actually struggling...we only do well on some days while other days can be a 'hell-hole' for us. It's like I might try to post cheerfully but there are days when I feel like I'm at the end of the plank and there's no other way but down. It happens, and negative thoughts will always come to us. I guess it's how each of us handles these thoughts...all of us are different and we take different amounts of time to grief and all. 

You most certainly have not fallen, Losingsight. It's an extremely tough period you're going through but lo and behold, things will start to get better and better slowly. Definitely not overnight and not even days too. Took me months and months. Believe in that, k? Remember God's promises to you in the Bible...? God will never fail you. He just wants you to trust in Him now; maybe it's kinda like a test from Him too. You can do this, losingsight. If you rope Him in, it'd be so much easier too. 

Trust me. You have my support k. *patpat*

Â