Emerald, sorry about what you're facing and going through. No worries about what the future may bring k? It only adds uncertainty and misery somewhat. Just focus on the 'now' and take things a day at a time. Yeah this was never your fault at all. When I was with my DW, it was akin to trying not to step on eggshells. My happiness then seemed dependent on whether she was happy. Loving someone with D can be very challenging at times; hang in there k...*patpat*