Jalbers

I did this myself.

After crazy September breakup and then crazy behaviour, when I was finally exhausted (4 weeks in) I called his sister who lives two hours away. She listened, then shared with me her own depression. AHA! Perfect, she is going to contact him and get together and share her secret. She asks me not to tell his mom who lives 12 hours away, it will devastate her to know we are broken up. Two weeks pass and she has not contacted him. I email her, tlet her know I am concerned for him and his daughters - she responds she has been busy. Within a week, he is screaming mad at me that I called his sister. Please note that I had told her it would not be a good idea to let him know i called. I become the bad guy - sister is told by him that he is just fine, he just wanted out of the realationship.

Months go by - he stops therapy. He has now got off all friends and is posting crazy stuff in social media. I email her in early december - tell her I am out - but that I believe he is worse and that i feel a moral obligation to let her know because I can no longer check on him. She emails back that she does not want to get in the middle of it.

Contacting his family added fuel to his anger with me. He felt as though I betrayed him and overstepped. He said if he needs his family he will contact them himself.

For me - I felt it necessary to contact them - I believe that someday they will see the light and realize I was right. It is a risk to your relationship, however.