He has been called to give grace because he received grace. When he gave grace he laid down the self and gave priority to you. Acting benignly and giving grace is not giving love. It can develop into love.

I'm giving grace and receiving grace and you are giving grace and receiving grace and both of us have been pronounced guilty and banished to obscurity. If this grace had been given to where it should be given, then it should have been given to our guilt and to our banishment. If it had been we would have been given mercy and grace which is given as mercy is love.

M18:21 "When he had started calling in his accounts, a man was brought to him who owed him millions. And when it was plain that he had no means of repaying the debt, his master gave orders for him to be sold as a slave, and his wife and children and all his possessions as well, and the money to be paid over. At this the servant fell on his knees before his master, 'Oh, be patient with me!' he cried, 'and I will pay you back every penny!' Then his master was moved with pity for him, set him free and cancelled his debt. But when this same servant had left his master's presence, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a few shillings. He grabbed him and seized him by the throat, crying, 'Pay up what you owe me!' At this his fellow-servant fell down at his feet, and implored him, 'Oh, be patient with me, and I will pay you back!' But he refused and went out and had him put in prison until he should repay the debt. When the other fellow-servants saw what had happened, they were horrified and told their master the whole incident. Then his master called him in. "'You wicked servant!' he said. 'Didn't I cancel all that debt when you begged me to do so? Oughtn't you to have taken pity on your fellow-servant as I, your master, took pity on you? And his master in anger handed him over to the gaolers till he should repay the whole debt. This is how my Heavenly Father will treat you unless you each forgive your brother from your heart."

We gave mercy when we gave the relationship space and we got put in prison for not paying our dues towards the relationship. So according to this the debt of relationship space needs to be brought up. I need Clarkie to work out why.