I know you are trying your best to help Sadwillow but unless he is willing to help himself he isn't going to take notice of anything he is offered.

I told my DH in no uncertain terms he was ill and needed help, his boss tried to take work off him to reduce the pressure and suggested he go off sick and get help, the Doctor suggested he have counselling, he didn't stick with the counselling, the Psychiatrist, Psychotherapist and Crisis Team offered him help, he doesn't want any help from anyone. He is self medicating with alcohol and an alcoholic OW.

Nothing we try will change the situation or the path they chose until they are ready to accept help and turn their lives around.

I had anxiety for many years I was sent on an anxiety management course where you are taught about how to manage anxiety, triggers and coping strategies, the one thing they teach you is how to breath but believe me when you are in the throws of a very bad panic attack the first thing that goes out the window is your breathing. You don't give a f**k about your breathing as you're extremely agitated, they are not always a single attack, you can get one attack after another and another and there is an over whelming urge to run away, putting it bluntly you would rather die than carry on enduring what feels like a living hell. I went on many occasions to do food shopping to get to the check out and have to leave the shop.

The only way that anxiety will be over come if the person who is having the anxiety attacks realises that the anxiety will not kill or harm them, it does not result in a heart attacks, asthma attacks or death, anxiety is related to a fear of death and dying, for example if I got a headache I would think I had a brain tumour. Basically panic attacks are not harmful but very frightening and very scary.

I hope I have explained as best I can but the upshot is as much as we want to help we can't make them or force them to get better only they can do the hard work to get themselves better. Sadly I have had to cut lose for my own protection, my kids safety as I cannot go back to how ill I was.