No problem Sadwillow, I too have done enough research to do another degree. I think we are looking for answers and for remedies, sadly the only remedy will be for them to help themselves, think of any addiction, drink, drugs, weight loss it's all hard work and takes much effort.

I have felt anxious at times, I feel like I am constantly looking over my shoulder at what's coming next, the DH has been a devious and manipulative bast*rd over finances, he has control issues and I am frightened of what he has become so much so I have left the family home which is in the process of being sold and not told even my solicitor/lawyer where I am living as my DH is totally unpredictable.

I don't disagree that mindfulness could help but he needs to develop the right frame of mind to do it, it all takes effort. I helped a friend last week got her into treatment via the crisis team she had no energy to do anything and just wanted to die but even though she was offered help, advice and meds she isn't listening, the meds only take the edge off, the hard work has to come from them and as my friend said herself they can reach a stage where they do not realise themselves just how ill they are.

I have to be honest and admit my DH helped me when I was ill he dragged me to the Doctors kicking and screaming but I had got to a stage where I had suffered so much of the anxiety I wanted an end to it and wanted to get better, my DH thinks that drinking is going to get rid of the anxiety, it will numb it for a while but eventually as our Doctor said things are only going to get much worse.

I think they all suffer from self loathing it's all part of it.