Thanks all - I am better today.

I wrote a venting, sad email which I did not send to him. I spoke with a close male friend of mine last night and got some perspective. He is visiting his BiPolar 37 year old son (enormously successful and charismatic in "manic" phases), destructive alcoholic in down cycles. He is in a down cycle and my friend is devastated. He said he believes that his son (who has been in various treatments since a teen) will die young, either by his own hand or through risk taking behavior. His perspective, after being on the rollercoaster for 20 years, is this.

"I have to let that balloon go - I cannot help him. I cannot obsess. He is a man and will make his life however he makes it. I will check in, support where I can. But I cannot let this rule my life".

Not so surprising - this son has been in many serious relationships over his lifetime. Not one of them have lasted.

Now that is perspective - so painful, so hard.

Of course, it reminds me that my untreated bipolar ex lives on the same rollercoaster.

Gotta watch that balloon disappear.