Vin - I understand, thank you, you're right in that. He probably would rather speak to someone who isn't so emotionally involved. 
Becky - you're also right, i shall read those books, I've been looking at them on Amazon already, we don't have a relationship right now and until he has passed through this stage of depression then we are unlikely to, it still doesn't make me want to walk away though. 
Whatever happens from here on in I need to focus on me and make sure I'm ok, and hopefully over time he will get help and get better.
depression is the devil, I hate how it's ruined our relationship and his life like this!!